Notes On…”A New Decade.”

Well, it has been a long time since I last posted anything so I thought I would put finger to keyboard and get something out there.

Notes On…Preceptorship and beyond…

I felt it was time to come to you with a blog post for two reasons. The first being, it has been an awful long time since I last wrote something, and the second being that I have officially completed my year of preceptorship and I am now technically, a non-newly qualified nurse. Scary or what.

Notes On…’A Year Later…’

So, I find myself writing one year to the day that my dad unexpectedly passed away. After falling ill five days previously, my family and I found ourselves in the horrendous situation of being sat at his bedside in ICU following life saving surgery. And after five days of very little sleep, and very little to eat or drink, he passed away as we sat with him at 8.13am on the 26^th of July. It was almost worse as a student nurse, as I found myself looking at all of the monitors and quizzing the nurses looking after him about everything. Of course they all were doing a wonderful job.

I remember chastising myself for not recognising the signs of a triple A, and mistaking it for a kidney infection. And it haunted me for a while. But when my dad told me that I had ‘done my best’, the guilt slipped away. After all, I had not been taught anything about that condition during training, or needed to read up about it. I did afterwards. We can’t know everything.

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent, especially when there has been no indication of illness prior. Life throws many things at you, and this was the biggest thing to have been thrown at me and the rest of my family to date.

Notes On…’Newly Qualified, and Out There…’

The Beginning of Nursing.

So, I come to you writing as a newly qualified nurse one month into the role. I thought being a student nurse was hard. I thought my preceptorship training was tough going. But neither of those paled into comparison to what it is like wearing those blues. I knew things were going to be difficult. I knew it was going to be a steep learning curve, and I have read all of the blogs and statements on facebook pages about life as a newly qualified nurse. But I swear to god, this whole first month has been something else. I’ve felt like a complete nurse imposter. Like I don’t have a clue what I am doing, and like I really shouldn’t be here, or in charge of anyone.

Notes On…’A Year’

What a Difference a Year Makes…

So, after a number of nursing related blog entries, I have decided to shake things up a little by writing about a subject I have written about A LOT. Love and relationships. Something that has been both a blessing and a curse in my life since year dot. I was actually re-reading some of my blog entries about this subject, when it dawned on me just how much things have changed for me in the last year. Just reading them again made me remember how I felt when I wrote them. Such an odd feeling, purely because my circumstances have changed significantly. I write now, as a person in a relationship. Something which, quite frankly, I never thought I would find myself in. But there you go.

Notes On…’The End.’

The Closing of One Door, and the Tentative Opening of the Next…

So, after the trilogy of blog posts I wrote about being the third-year adult nursing student, I felt it necessary to turn it into a quadrilogy, as I have now, officially, passed the finish line, and it is a milestone I wanted to both share with you, and commemorate for myself.

Notes On…’Acknowledgements’

After achieving a number of milestones this week, some academic, some personal, I take time to reflect on these through the written word with the following poem. I have also decided to experiment with writing in the first person. 

Notes On…’Being the 3rd Year. Collected.’

The 3rd Year Nursing Journey Thus Far…

’Being the 3^rd Year’ Pt. 1′

I write for the second time this week on a completely different subject: being a 3^rd year nursing student. First of all, I have to just point out that I never thought I would get to this point. There have been some absolutely dreadful times where I’ve thought to myself ‘my God, just what the hell am I doing? Why on earth am I putting myself through this?’ And I never usually get around to answering these self-posed questions because my mind wanders onto one of the other million things that I either have to think about or have to do. This is apparently what makes up the most of this 3^rd year.

Notes On…’Being the 3rd Year Pt.3′

The Last Stage…

So, I write after a bit of a long break, as a 3^rd year adult student nurse who is now, five weeks away from finishing this course. A course that has made me live like a pauper for nigh on three years, made me want to pull my own hair out, made me witness the last moments of a person’s life, made me despair at the essay I think I just can’t do, made me question why I am doing this, made me question my own capabilities, and quite frankly, has made me feel things I never thought I would. But I arrive at this point as an overall success so far, despite huge personal loss and sadness. And for that alone, I am quietly proud of myself. But I write this post as a bit of a bookmark, and as something for all of you amazing people who have signed up for this amazing and sometimes, despairing journey.

Notes On…’The Cord Between’

I was scrolling through my blog folder and found an unpublished one from a year ago. I thought I might share it with you. My quest for love has been an ongoing one for many years, and while I find myself in a new relationship (which is lovely by the way), I thought it would be beneficial to share my thoughts from a year ago, to pay homage to those feelings I am now able to shake off. So, here goes…